I have relatively recently come out of a long term relationship that I’d been in since sixteen, it was great, but in the end we just grew apart. Now nearly twenty one and in my final year at university, I feel catapulted into the deep end of the overly complicated, terrifyingly confusing, dating game.
For anyone who knows this feeling: it’s the feeling of complete dread at the fact that, yes you will have to completely start all over again, and chances are you are going to get hurt big time.
It’s a scary prospect.
In the time that I have been single, I have quickly learnt a great deal about the codes of dating/seeing each other/just messing around. Here are some discoveries that may help you when dating:
1. Tinder sucks. In a little town like Aber, you will come across a fair amount of people that you already know: awkward! Tinder is a superficial way of meeting someone, however if you’re lucky and hit it off, then fantastic: but be wary that it may not be anything serious.
2. Someone may say they like you, but may just be using you, so don’t rush into anything! This is an almost blindingly obvious one. However it is (surprisingly), incredibly easy to get swept up in the cringey chat up lines and their smooth talking ways. So just make sure that they genuinely are interested in you before you invest your emotions.
3. The social pressures to meet ‘The One’ whilst in uni are ridiculous. This is unrealistic and frankly, most people at this age just aren’t ready to settle down. Allow yourself to be selfish: this is a time where you can do what you like on a whim. So don’t allow yourself to fret about meeting ‘the one’, just enjoy learning more about yourself.
4. Playing it cool actually works. And helps you know if he/she’s not really serious about you. Don’t drop everything for that one date you’re really excited to go on: get your life in order, and fit them in around it. Plan a night in/out with your friends, get your work done, master your hobby: do everything you’ve always wanted to do but couldn’t whilst in a relationship – this is the perfect time!
5. Don’t let Snapchat rule your life when ‘seeing someone’ – unless of course you’re taking low-camera-angle attractive selfies for your friends. If you have them on Snapchat, chances are that’ll be one of their main ways of contacting you… It can be a great way to get to know someone and let them know what you’re up to. However, if they are only contacting you after 12am: be a little cautious, they may just be lonely.
In the end, i’ve decided that what will be will be: don’t go chasing a guy when he is clearly taking advantage of you, don’t think that you will never find anyone else, and never ever lower your self worth or think you deserve less than perfect.
Being single is a great time for self-discovery. So spread your wings and enjoy the freedom, you never know what’s around the corner!