Self-Growth, Independence and a Break From Boys


“Since I was fifteen, I’ve either been with a guy or breaking up with a guy. I haven’t given myself two weeks of a breather to just deal with myself!” – Liz Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

This quote is me, I genuinely couldn’t have worded it better myself.

It would seem that every time I say I am going to take a break from boys for a while, another comes along and sweeps me up in yet another whirlwind of romance. This time, I mean it, I need a good long break to grow as a person and spread my wings.

You may think that I sound extremely cynical and that I sound bitter. I am not. I am a great believer in love, romance and relationships, heck, I think that it brings so much happiness and adds that extra dimension to your life. I think love, when it’s there and reciprocated, is the best feeling in the world and everything pales in comparison.

However. When people don’t give themselves time to hurt and get over their previous partners, that’s when more people get hurt. You end up seeing and dating people who may be genuinely really interested – but your heart’s not really in it, because you haven’t given yourself that time to heal and grow.

So instead of getting straight back on the relationship bus, I’m going to do what I haven’t done since fifteen: be independent and focus purely, wholly, completely on myself. It’s actually quite a nice prospect, after years of essentially putting someone else first and factoring them into everything I do.

Obviously you never know what life will bring you, but I’m going to, for now, focus on setting out my career plan, finding a job, moving to London, making new friends and working full time. I don’t even have time for a man amongst all that!

You’re probably thinking, ‘what is with this girl? It’s great being single, sassy and independent!’ But it’s such a foreign concept to me.

I’m excited for the break, and it will mean I don’t hurt anyone who wants something with me when I’m just not ready for it.

As they say, you have to be able to be completely happy with yourself before you can fully make anyone else happy. So there’s never been a better time for self-growth and discovery: I am young, single and independent, cheers to that!

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