Mid-way through watching a certain reality television show last week, I found myself thinking about people’s tendencies in relationships. The couple in question had been together for five years, and clearly loved each other very much. However they were also extremely controlling over one another, angry and clearly unhappy. The trust between them just wasn’t there.
As much as this could just be ‘constructed reality’, it made me think of one of my own previous relationships. I was with the person for three years, and it became increasingly evident that I just wasn’t happy. I’d settled because it was all I’d known for so long.
I was blind to the fact that I was simply miserable.
Once the relationship met its inevitable end, and I’d regained my personality, bubbliness and happiness, I realised the amount of people that do just settle. And not just in relationships.
I’ve seen friends with more passion and drive than anyone I know wilt away because they’ve become stuck in bad relationships or areas where ambition and aspiration do not thrive.
It’s actually really sad when you see your friend’s personalities literally draining out of them, but when you’re in that position – you don’t even realise it’s happening as it’s such a gradual transition.
We all have so much potential: we deserve a fulfilling career if we work hard, or a loving relationship which still gives you butterflies just thinking of them. We deserve to be happy, but you are the only one responsible for your own happiness.
My advice? If you start to question whether a relationship or situation is right for you or not, that there might be better things out there for you, or even if you realise that you’re just not happy – be brave. Never accept ‘but what if there’s no one else out there?’ or ‘I don’t want to start over’ as the only reason to stay.
Make the terrifying and challenging decision to break away, because believe me, it’s so so worth it.
I believe we only get one life, and you owe it to yourself to be happy. Don’t settle just because it feels comfortable or safe. Make risks, take chances, be brave. You just might surprise yourself!
As Les Brown said, ‘shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars’.