How To Handle Being Stood Up

stood

You decided that day where to meet and what time, and together have picked out a nice restaurant with lush food to eat. Having made an effort: a smidgen of lipstick, dash of perfume, you arrive early. Then you receive a message saying he’s on his way, and will be there in a few minutes.

The clock ticks on, you get fidgety and look around ‘people-watching’, but the same faces are getting pretty boring. You stare at the coat of varnish on your nails. A few minutes turn into 15 minutes, 15 turns into 30.

Other people waiting who arrived at the same time as you have now met their partners or friends. You pretend to be really interested in your phone.

You call him. It goes to voice-mail. Slow realisation begins to creep over you, that, in fact, they will not turn up. But you’re cool: you wait. And wait. And then 50 minutes have gone by and it’s kind of sunk it: you’ve been stood up.

Stood up.

The words resonate in your head as you think of all the possibilities: did you get the wrong time? Has he text and you just haven’t received it?

An hour has passed; as has the point humiliation. It’s time to admit defeat amidst the shock and confusion, and let the stages of handling this awful situation life has put you in, play out…

1. Anger

The slow and painful tube-ride back home sets the scene of everything irritating – warm anger spreads throughout your body and you grind your teeth. You’ve wasted your time despite making the effort.

2. Hurt and rejection

Did he walk past and not like what he saw? What’s wrong with you? Nothing makes sense, he must have either chickened out or decided you weren’t good enough.

3. Frustration

Why are you upset, you never met the bloke – he could’ve been horrible. But you never had the chance to find out: the possibilities were ruled out from the beginning… you didn’t even have the opportunity to find out if he was nice, a dick or even right for you.

4. Guilt

Did he get hit by a bus? Did his mother fall gravely ill? Was he abducted by aliens? Maybe something awful happened – there could be a perfectly logical explanation.

5. Angry again

The next day you stalk him on social media, and you find out that he posted a selfie that morning – what a dick, he’s fine.

6. And then it’s hilarious… 

Soon after it starts to actually become a little funny. The best news is that you will have a classic anecdote to tell and dodged a bullet BIGtime.

Being stood up can be ego-shattering and painful, but remember: never love yourself less because you had the misfortune of (not) meeting someone who didn’t have the balls to tell you that they’re not going to show. They are the one with the issues: the lack of common decency, inconsiderate nature and are frankly downright mean.

The person you are meant to be with may not be this one, but when you do meet them: this incident will pale into insignificance as merely a distant memory.

You are beautiful, loveable and deserve someone who would never even consider standing you up an option.

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