It’s Okay To Not Be Okay: Positivity vs Anxiety


I’ve been pretty rubbish lately. Like, super shit.

I’ve let it get to 2 weeks without a new post – and I’m stuck.

I’m on the my daily commute forcing myself to to read articles, books and psychologist journals to get inspiration… I’m even standing on the train with a copy of ‘The Pursuit of Happiness‘, by Ruth Whippman – a self-help-‘whip-sharp British Bill Bryson‘, says-the-Sunday-Times, type-book in my bag.

But still nothing’s coming to me.

Zilch. Zero. Nada.

6 stages every couple goes through? …hmmm.

Is monogamy realistic? …probs not. Moving in with your partner? …nah.

The Pursuit of Happiness? …no.

I think it’s safe to say I’ve hit a wall.

This has happened before, a couple of times, mostly when I’m not feeling quite right. Sometimes I simply stick on a happy tone of voice, and chirp on about how life is full of positives constantly.

Forget questioning monogamy – constant positivity, now THAT is unrealistic.

I’ve come to realise that sticking on a smile and getting on with it is fine short term, but it’s not a long term cure.

Maybe I’ll get some motivation and inspiration soon – maybe not – but for now, I guess what I’m trying to say is:

It’s okay to not be okay.


GAH. The amount of pressure we put on ourselves to do well, to exceed, to ignore the social / financial / general admin-doing, clothes-washing, dish-cleaning life pressures. To just ‘get on with it’.

It’s suffocating.

Not to mention: we spend our time surrounded by the constant negativity of the news: millennials are unlikely to purchase a house, unlikely to get a job out of university, this, that, the other.

We’ve got middle aged white men on social media telling us that millennials are ungrateful, entitled, narcissistic and don’t know what it means to work. Whose argument is not only a massive generalisation, but also super insulting.

Millennials aren’t stressed out because their Facebook posts aren’t getting enough likes; we’re stressed out because the economy is shaky and society’s reaction is “Stop texting so much and learn to love life, you self-centred selfie-loving ingrates”.

My millennial friends would like job satisfaction, but some would also just love to have a job.

For goodness sake, complaining about millennials is an industry now – just search on Amazon books! But we’re not unique. Baby boomers were dubbed the “Me Generation” because they were considered lazy and narcissistic. Even the ancient Greeks complained about their uppity kids.

If every generation was as lazy as the previous generation claimed, we’d have already devolved into moss-covered sloth people.


As you can imagine, all of this generates the pressure to not talk about feeling under pressure. Because it means your at risk of seeming ungrateful, not strong enough or simply negative.

This increases anxiety levels even further – no wonder we have the increasing rates of depression and anxiety.

Everything I’ve said in The Quarter-Life Crisis, and Leaving Uni  is true, and I always leave it on a positive note: ‘You are not alone!’ ‘Everyone, whether you think it or not, is going through the same transition’, ‘things will get better’, which are all true – it’s just hard to believe it when you feel bad.

So, lovely beautiful people:

It’s okay to talk about your problems, it’s okay to feel stressed, and it’s okay if you feel like you’re not coping.

Try and talk to someone, and remember life is hard, it’s not going to be a breeze – but you will come out the other side wiser, better off and stronger for going through everything.

Storms, after all, can’t last forever.

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