Stealthing is when a man removes a condom during sex, despite agreeing to wear one, so that he can finish inside the other person without their knowledge.
What is it?
Stealthing is reported to be on the rise. It refers to the act of deliberately removing a condom during sex, or purposely damaging the condom prior to intercourse without their partner’s knowledge or consent. This catchy phrase doesn’t actually mean there’s a new trend but coins a new term for a kind of sexual assault.
The removal of the condom is usually done whilst in the doggy style position because the receiving partner won’t be able to see what’s happening. Stealthing leaves a victim vulnerable to pregnancy or STIs, and can cause emotional, physical and financial harm.
Is stealthing actually sexual assault?
Condoms are used to prevent the spread of STIs such as HIV and also unwanted pregnancies. So, if they attempt to do this, they’re liable to be charged with sexual assault.
There are not only physical ramifications for this but the receiver experiences emotional, mental, and financial harm as well. The lack of consent draws a line to being considered rape.
By damaging or removing the condom during sex, they allow for the spread of STIs to occur. If these guys do this, do you think they honestly go and get tested after every time they have sex?
Stealth sex isn’t based on respect, it’s based on stupidity.
If someone takes off their condom or pokes a hole in it, the chances of you becoming pregnant are dramatically increased.[Read: The Importance of Getting Tested]
Since stealthing is a new thing, the laws surrounding this are somewhat unclear. This doesn’t mean they won’t get charged, however, will they be charged with rape or sexual assault? This depends on the judge.
In January, a Swiss court convicted a man of rape after he took off his condom without telling his partner.
The court concluded that the woman would have said no to sex if she knew the condom would be removed.
How can you prevent stealthing from happening to you?
It’s a shame that we even have to discuss this. You think when you have consensual sex with someone they wouldn’t go behind your back to put your life at risk. However, you actually don’t know what your partner is capable of doing, so, you need to be prepared just in case.
#1 Bring your own Carry a couple condoms with you, (ones which you know are safe to use), and leave some by your bed just in case.
#2 Check throughout Throughout intercourse, periodically check to make sure that the condom is on. If it’s off, stop having sex immediately.
#3 Use a condom that you can feel Try using a ribbed one. This way, you’ll be able to tell when he’s wearing a condom and when he’s not.
#4 Use your own lube If these guys are using oil-based lube, bring your own with you. Silicone or water-based lubricant is condom-safe. This way, you know what’s going on the condom, so you won’t have to worry about it.
Now that you know what stealth sex is, make sure you prevent this from happening to you. You’re in control of your body and what goes in it. Literally.