With more singletons in the capital than ever before in history, are we the generation living in fear of a Happily Never After?
I read an article the other day, from 35-year old author, Emily Hill. She retold one particularly bad London date (of many) she has experienced. It lasted a brief period, the guy wasnt great and it ended with her crying on the way home. She, like silent suffering masses of single Londoners, is simply fed up of waiting for ‘the one’.
There are more single Londoners alive today than ever – 2,888,944, according to the last census. That’s 44%.
But the truth is, we’re all wandering round swiping left, swiping right, wondering if we will ever find a long-lasting love. We’re all increasingly scared of simply having a happily never after. Our fairy-tales resemble more of the Hans Christian Andersen kind, than the Disney. Forget dream wedding, ours seem to end with the man we love running off with someone else, whilst we’re left in complete disrepair.[Read: Is A Long-lasting Relationship Realistic In The 21st Century?]
The truth is, we all say “there’s someone out there for everyone”, heck, there is more than just one person – there are many people who would work perfectly. Just unfortunately we seem to be resembling the walking-wounded more and more. Dejected, rejected, heartbroken. We have more trust issues, more walls up and more insecurities than ever before.
So when we do meet someone nice, we think it’ll be “perfect”, but it won’t be – cause relationships are hard work. And it’s so scary.
The idea of opening your heart up to someone is fucking terrifying. The thought of letting someone in and running the risk of being hurt is sometimes so overwhelming we fear starting anything to begin with.
And yet most of us don’t want to end up alone.
We all crave that happily ever after – the thought of never having that is potentially even more scary than opening your heart.
So we’re stuck. In this ridiculous position of monotonous dating and actually keeping our minds and hearts open. We go on the extra dates in the vague hope that it could be something. We don’t delete the dating apps – just in case – someone special pops up. We continue to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off.
We are a nation of believers, hopers and lovers. We all deserve love, that is for sure.
But that’s just it, whether or not love comes – we need to celebrate finding happiness in other ways. We know were not dependent on someone else, but whether love chooses to come, or not, we must celebrate our freedom.
From gossiping with friends over cocktails, reading a naughty book in a steamy hot bubbly bath, pleasuring yourself with your LELO SONA or Bijoux TWENTY ONE, to dancing around in your pyjamas to The Spice Girls, eating the whole pizza, snuggling up with a friend, focusing on all the things we LOVE.
All the times we laugh so hard our tummy’s hurt, and tingle cause we feel so happy just listening to music with a large glass of wine.
We all long for “him” or “her” to materialise. We do.
But in the meantime, we’re doing pretty damn good. Despite every last niggling thought of doubt – nothing can take away how beautiful and brave and strong you are.
‘They’ will come along, usually when you genuinely least expect it – and when they do, you’ll know it’s all worth it.