All’s fair in love and war… Or is it?
If you’ve been watching the latest series of Love Island, you’ll know this week, Love Islander Dr. Alex has been having a bit of a hard time. Amongst the trials and tribulations, the drama and the tears, Alex is, well, just not a love interest with the girls. Not only this, but over the last few days, Alex showcased the exact reason why Fuckboys always seem to swoop in and get the girl (Eyal 👀). But why, oh why aren’t the girls attracted to him in that way?
Alex ‘The Nice Guy‘
Can we just put one thing straight… Alex is HOT. He’s a nice guy. He’s not unattractive, he’s sweet, albeit a tad dull in comparison to the other boys, but he’s a doctor and saves lives for a living. The only thing Adam is probably capable of saving is his own skin when caught cheating.
HOWEVER
The issue here is in how we use the term nice. When it comes to romantic interest, nice can mean ‘needy, weak, predictable, boring, inexperienced, and ultimately, unattractive. If nice really meant weak and boring, however, then nice guys wouldn’t be attractive. Obviously.
The classic definition, however: kind, emotionally sensitive, and caring about others, is, actually, really appealing. So why is Adam so appealing, and yet the girls just ‘don’t feel it’ with Alex?
[Read: Nice Guys (Don’t) Always Finish Last]
Fuckboys don’t wait around for the right time
Let’s look at the scenario: Alex, a nice, normal guy has a crush on one of the girls. He spends time trying to tell if she likes him back. Then… after building up the guts to say something, he finds out that she’s cracking on with someone else.
Fuckboys generally have more success simply because they didn’t wait around.
The nice guys, the guys you should be with, are notably more scared of rejection than fuckboys, who feel they don’t have anything to lose. Plus a Fuckboy’s ego is usually rather… um… large.
Nice guys dither and dally to the point where it’s too late. They won’t say anything until they’re super sure they’ll succeed.
Adam ‘The Fuckboy‘
On the other hand, we can easily break down what makes Adam attractive… (He’s conventionally hot: tall, with big, bulging muscles – albeit he’s not my type, as my sister aptly put it, he resembles a human version of Scar from The Lion King…)
He’s a challenge
Bad guys are ALWAYS just that little bit out of reach.
They drip-feed you attention, tantalising in their unavailability – they give you just enough attention so you don’t go elsewhere, and yet still feel they’re attainable. Those glimmers of hope and effort, along with the pull-push behaviour makes him that much more interesting. Us humans value things we have to work for, over the things we’re given on a plate.
Adam makes you think he likes you, but in reality he’ll always keep his options open. Just as seen with Kendall and Rosie.
Fuckboy’s aren’t boring
Fuckboys may be absolute nightmare, tear-inducing ticking time bombs, but they’re not boring.
They are funny, suave, charming and you genuinely feel like the most important person with them, all the while they’re messaging a handful of other women when you’ve popped to the loo.
Adam certainly lays it on behind other girl’s backs…
Our hormones don’t help
According to research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology back in 2012, women, in the week of ovulation, “delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads,”
URGH. You can just imagine Adam pulling a Tristan Thompson/Khloe Kardashian if in that scenario…
The girls like his ‘potential’ and think they can change him…
Maybe Adam’s just a lost boy that just needs love. We believe we can love and understand him like no-one else can. We believe we can unleash his potential, support him, be by his side. That he’ll change cause he has so much potential, and he’ll realise that we are the shining light that showed him the way.
We genuinely believe we can be the ones to change them.
We can’t. We can’t change who people are fundamentally, no matter how much we really want to believe it.
[Read: Why To Women Fall For Bad Guys?]
Science says Alex will be more likely to have long term relationship than Adam
Although Alex has been a little… dry… so far on Love Island, scientists from the University of Worcester and the University of Sunderland found that women reported men as being more attractive when the guys were paired with a scenario showing them doing something kind, generous or heroic, compared to men who were notable for their physical appeal.
The study included 202 women, who were shown pictures of 24 men of varying degrees of handsomeness, judged independently by the three study authors. Alongside the photos were descriptions of the men doing something like saving a child from a river or buying coffee for a homeless person. Other photos were accompanied with not-so-nice situations, such as the man refusing to help in either of the previous scenarios.
For long-term relationships, non-physical characteristics are more important: Women care more about kindness and warmth and less about status and physical attractiveness. In contrast, the new study found that selfish men were seen as more desirable among women who were looking for a fling.
If you see my recent Twitter rants, you’ll note my endless proclamations about how Adam simply isn’t boyfriend material. He’s more suited to a fling, and he will never change. He knows he’s good looking, and will use that as long as he can.
So if you’re happy to be used like a tissue, girls, go for Adam, but if you’re looking for something more meaningful… don’t be fooled by the charm!
Love Island is on everyday from June 4th (apart from Saturdays) 9pm, ITV2.
Follow me on Twitter @evegreenow
