I was asked the other day, “do you think it’s harder to date in London than in other places?” and I thought, good question.
I used to live in London: first Hackney then Balham, and worked in Soho for 3 years so I know the dating scene well. I’ve dated myself, I’ve seen friends and colleagues date, and am friends with enough dating bloggers to hear plenty of juicy stories…
Dating in London is both brilliant and frustrating
Whilst there is possibly the largest dating pool, with such a wide variety of people, London simply isn’t the city if your main goal is to settle into a relationship.
There are A LOT of fish in the sea, but finding someone still proves very difficult, in fact there are probably too many fish.
People are already in relationships… with their careers
It’s frustrating because Londoners are generally so independent and career driven, that generally the “seeing someone” stage is a lot longer than anywhere else.
This is one of the most ambitious cities in the world, and your ridiculously high rent doesn’t pay itself… When you’re waking up at 6.45am to squash yourself into an overcrowded train, working until 7pm, maybe going to the gym for a bit, and then somehow eating and seeing your friends… who has time for dating?
Everyone is on a dating app
The good news is that everyone’s on Tinder and Bumble. The awful news is that everyone’s on Tinder and Bumble. You have to wade through several hundred left swipes, but the app is obviously useful for arranging a date. And, if that date is a nonstarter, you can just go back to where you were and start again.
It’s when the date goes well that things can go pear shaped: You like this person, but does that mean it’s time to leave Tinder at the wayside so early on? Is he or she still using it? YES? But, wait, so are you. Is this person just staying active to see if you’re still active? What are they thinking?
You’re more likely to end up dating someone from work
Workplace romances are bound to happen, when you spend 80% of your time somewhere, it can be easy to see how relationships develop. I don’t actually think there is a problem with this, unless you are in a small office and look like you’re going to end things soon…
The Grass Is Always Greener
You find men and women tend to see more than one person at a time. Also there’s the idea of dating (particularly on apps) having a higher turnaround in London, so people see a lot of people, but don’t really ever stick to anyone.
We live in a disposable society, where if something isn’t working as we want it to – we throw it away and get something newer, or so we believe – ever dissatisfied. Often finding the newer version isn’t much better than the previous version. The same is with relationships.
There are over 8 million people in London. Even if you manage to find that one in a million, there’re still millions of others out there who’re just like them, and maybe even better. It’s the grass is always greener mentality that makes it super tough to actually enjoy what’s in front of you.
[Read: How ‘Seven Year Switch’ Highlights Our Modern Day ‘Grass Is Always Greener’ Attitude]Most dates will incorporate drinking of some description
Dinner and a fun activity? What’s that? While some people may be more creative and capable of dreaming up memorable outings, the majority of us don’t have time for anything more serious than an after-work drink. If that goes well, then we can talk dinner. And, since we Londoners enjoy our tipples, dating has become synonymous with going on one long, extended drinks…
London has so many other things to do
Exhibitions, seeing friends, movies, sites, galleries, markets – there are so many things to do in London, fitting in dating strangers in the hope that someone is nice just seems silly!
Outside of London
You generally find in more suburban areas just outside London, people are more likely to commit to a relationship and settle down faster than in London. Maybe it’s just the done thing.
The big smoke is great, but sometimes it’s -easier- to find and get to know someone in suburbia.
