As I sit here, heavily pregnant and now overdue (whatever that means), I’m realising life is going to soon change irrevocably, once again.
Becoming a mother for the first time has been the most wonderful, intense, life-altering experience. It was tough getting to grips with sleep deprivation and constantly being needed, schedules and even more mental load. However, having a baby is brilliant, every milestone is awe inspiring and the snuggles and relationship you gain is second to none. Watching them grow into their own little personalities is one of the best bits.
The love is indescribable, like having your own heart outside of your body, wandering around.
The first time for everything is the hardest, so I’m hoping now that I’m expecting my second boy, things will be easier in some respects. This time I’ll actually know how to change a nappy!
It’ll be harder juggling two, that’s for sure, but I already have a base level of sleep disturbance (from being pregnant and having a boy who has never loved sleeping), I’m used to my life running on a routine and having to leave the house with several bags, snacks, extra clothes and basically anything for all scenarios.
In some respects, I am grieving the time I’ll have exclusively for my firstborn. It’s been precious and so special to be able to have spent such a large amount of time with him, I feel so grateful and we’ve loved having our routine of seeing friends and going out and doing fun things together everyday. I’m acutely aware that, for at least a while, this will change and his life will require some adjustment.
Saying this, I also am aware that in having his baby brother, he’s gaining a best friend for life. Watching their relationship blossom, I’m reassured, will be the most incredible experience. He’ll have a constant play friend, especially as they’re so close in age.
I’m excited and apprehensive for going from one child to two, it feels so grown up being in a family of four (I’m totally in denial that I’m a thirty-something year old now).
For now, I can only hope for a safe delivery and I can’t wait to meet our new baby boy.
Here’s to not much longer to go!
