Single? Get Out There: Confidence, Conversations and Approaching People


With the gradual influx of dating websites and apps, it is becoming increasingly apparent that we are slowly losing the ability to actually meet people in the real world.

Now don’t get me wrong, plenty of people I know have met their partners on Tinder or, as it is a great way of meeting new people. However single pringles everywhere are forgetting another very effective way of meeting people… Talking. To anyone. Flirting.

We’ve become a nation glued to our phones, antisocial: keeping our heads down and keeping ourselves to ourselves.

Ditch those dating sites (or at least supplement them), and get out there in the real world!

Talk to people! In the supermarket, on the train, at the book shop: chat to anyone and everyone, build up that confidence of just talking to people, and when you see a cute guy/girl who normally you’d never in your right mind say hello to… Do!

Even just to ask whether they could help you reach a cereal box, or asking directions – make eye contact and smile. Enjoy the flanter (flirty banter) with someone who you fancy the look of and having that instant initial attraction with.

Girls, it takes some serious balls for a guy to come up to a woman and start talking to her. In order to make it easier for them, and get their interest, keep this in mind:

 Never underestimate the art of eye contact

Don’t be too subtle though! Many women avoid eye contact after one glance because they think the man will get the signal – chances are – they won’t. Boys can be clueless and often will mistake your deliberate eye contact for you merely looking around. You should make eye contact at least twice – and make sure he sees you!

Decide whether the chemistry is there

Seduction starts in the very first second: be playful!

Knight-in-shining armour mode: Ask them to do you a favour

No man will say no, once he’s helped you say ‘thank you so much…’ then continue the conversation with something else – once the conversation is started, the ice has broken!

Best of all, he’ll think it was his idea.

Know your value

Come across as a high-value woman, you have a social life, you do spontaneous things, you’re an independent woman. There is nothing sexier than a woman who is secure in herself (everyone has insecurities but it’s about how well you hide them!)


When you’re nervous, it’s easy to forget to smile, a big old (non-creepy) grin will show your soft side and make you more approachable.

Applying all these things can happen when you least expect it too. I was struggling with my suitcase the other month on my way back to London from Cardiff, and there was a group of twenty-something year old lads who were behind me. One of them offered to carry on my massive case, which I gratefully accepted and thanked him, and then I initiated conversation by simply smiling and asking ‘so where are you heading?’

I could have lifted my case myself, but I fancied a chat and it was an easy way to have one, despite not being interested in that way (as I was seeing my marvellous now-boyfriend).

So if you’re looking for love and want to get started, it may be easier than you think. The world is full of fun, vibrant, interesting people – it’s just about getting up the guts to start talking to them! Chances are you’ll find them when you least expect it, and if nothing else, you’ll have a funny story to tell in the future!

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