I think it’s safe to say, the majority of women have spent a variable amount of time banging their heads against a brick wall due to being absolutely confuzzled about men.
Whether it’s because of their behaviour, actions or simply because we just don’t understand their motives or reasoning behind their decisions, sometimes comprehending what’s going on in men’s brains can prove a real struggle!
So, after much consideration, here are ten things that all women should know about men, in order to improve your relationship and save your sanity:
1. Men communicate through actions more than words
If you want to know where he really stands, pay closer attention to what he’s doing and put less emphasis on what he is or isn’t saying. He also doesn’t care how often you text…and neither should you! As long as he shows he cares through a desire to see you, phone you, organise things together or help you in little ways, then don’t stress about how often he texts or tells what you want to hear.
2. You can’t change him
I know that you know this intellectually, but on some level, you may still think you can pull it off. You can’t. And if you do manage to do it, he’ll figure it out and resent you for it. Love him the way he is or not at all.
3. When he finds other women attractive, don’t take it personally
Unless he’s drooling, just get over it. Let’s face it – how many times have you checked out a hot guy or had a celeb crush? It’s natural for us to find other people attractive, and anyone who says they don’t is outright lying. Providing it goes no further than looking, he may find other people attractive, but remember he has chosen YOU to be with.
4. He doesn’t want to lose his freedom
This is the reason men are so afraid of commitment, it’s the reason they may withdraw when a relationship deepens, and it’s the reason they go hot and cold.
Continue to have a strong sense of self and a life outside the relationship. Don’t rely on him to be the sole centre of your universe, give each other space for your own interests and friends.
5. You need to actually tell him what you want
Don’t make him guess, because he’ll pick wrong. And making vague hints about something won’t work either. If you want something, just say it straight out. Odds are, he’ll give it to you.
6. Don’t ask him the question, if you really don’t want to know the answer
He’s got a history, but remember: so do you! If you love him for who he is now, don’t worry so much about the path he took to get there.
7. He thought you looked good in that first outfit
The more you change clothes before you go out, the more impatient he gets. After the second one, he doesn’t care anymore. Go with your own gut and make the decision yourself!
8. If he cheats on you once, he will do it again
Even if he apologises and honestly regrets it, if you let him get away with it, it WILL happen again.
9. He’s not your dad, and you’re not his mother
Yes, he’s supposed to take care of you, but it’s not in the same way. You’re a grown woman. Learn the difference between a father and a partner. Furthermore, if you’re always cleaning up after him and washing his dishes, he’s got some growing up to do. Don’t play into his Freudian fantasy!
10. He does want to make you happy… sometimes he just doesn’t know how
Don’t fall off your chair! Yes, it’s true, men really do just want to make us happy. We may drive each other nuts, or we may feel a little pathetic in the need for attention sometimes, but deep down, men really do just want to be there for you and give you what you need. The only problem is sometimes they just don’t know how!
Men aren’t women (sorry for the shocker), and don’t always clue into our hints. Linking back to telling him what you want, appreciate when he makes an effort or tries – don’t take it for granted. Avoid nagging or pestering though – ask in a way that doesn’t make it sound like you’re complaining. Just like you like to be appreciated, men do too! When he sees that he’s made you happy, it increases his motivation to keep making you happy.