How To Deal With A Partner Poacher

Partner Poaching: 

1. Attempting to lure someone of the opposite sex away from their partner through various strategies in order to be with them and/or to prevent their partner from being with them

If you’ve been dating for a while, chances are you have encountered somebody trying to poach someone else’s partner in some form or another. Unfortunately,  I am ashamed to say, I have both been and fallen prey to this kind of girl.

Having said this, we mustn’t forget that by no means is it just women: men can be equally sneaky when it comes to getting what they want, if who they want is taken.

Within this category of ‘poaching‘, there are two types of person:

1) The one who has a habit of only wanting who they can’t have: thus enjoys ‘the hunt’ of chasing those in a relationship

2) The one who wants your partner, but you happen to be in the way

Without meaning to objectify people in this instance, a woman or man can’t ‘steal’ a partner unless they allow themselves to be stolen. Funnily enough your other-half can make their own decisions and if they fall victim to a someone who is looking to get with them, good riddance: you don’t want to be with that sort of person anyway.

However if you are in the unfortunate situation in which someone is attempting to get you out of the picture, then bear these little things in mind…

Jealousy is never a good look

Keep that green-eyed monster at bay. Jealousy is never pretty or attractive, it changes your mood and can (in some circumstances) make you become a horrid version of yourself. It doesn’t matter if ‘the poacher’ was there first as a friend, or fancies them or has just appeared out of nowhere: your partner is with you now.

Try and remember that external factors shouldn’t affect your relationship to a point where you are driven crazy-jealous: keep calm, keep your dignity and act rationally.

Don’t stoop to that level – They are the one with issues, not you

If this person is constantly stalking your partner’s Facebook or Twitter page, “liking” all of his photos (except the ones that contain the both of you) keep a close eye on matters, but don’t act out in a childish manner. Certainly don’t go rubbing salt in the wound by sharing more photos, or writing status’ about how loved up you are.

Not reacting is the best way forward – if they see you’re not phased by their activity, they’ll know whatever it is they’re doing isn’t working.

Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer

Kill them with kindness: the more you actively dislike them, the easier it is for them to want your BF/GF. They won’t know what’s hit them if you’re actually nice and want to be their friend, plus they’ll start to feel guilty for attempting to steal your other-half.

Let’s not play the blame game

In a way you should be flattered that you have a partner who is desirable to others, so never blame them for having people fancy them. As soon as you start blaming, you become resented: it’s not your partner’s fault, (unless they are actively leading someone else on), so don’t become unattractive by getting irritated with them because of the situation.

Trust

If I had a pound for every time I heard ‘I trust him, it’s just other girls I don’t trust’, I would be rolling in it, especially as I’ve said it myself more times than I care to remember.

This is a classic line said by any girl who doesn’t want to admit that she doesn’t trust her boyfriend. If you trust him implicitly – you literally have nothing to worry about. Just like you’d want him to trust you: respect and give them a little credit (providing they haven’t given you reason to think otherwise).

If you don’t trust him, then perhaps fundamentally there are more problems in your relationship than another girl coming along.