Never Settle celebrated 8 years on October 11th.
Although, I kind of forgot about it until a Facebook memory popped up for the anniversary. When did I get to a point where I’ve actually forgotten about my corner of the internet which once meant so much to me?
Calling time on writing Never Settle is something I have often thought about over the 8 years of writing. So far, I’ve never really considered it seriously enough to think “yep! It’s time to hang up my blogging hat and call it a day”. Looking back over my latest posts – a mixture of sponsored, women’s health and personal posts – most in which I end up apologising for neglecting the website for so long – I can see my slowly decreasing enthusiasm for writing becoming more and more evident.
When my annual website hosting reminder email hit my inbox, I thought, “Is it really worth it?”, and “will I be paying for this website for the rest of my life and not contribute anymore to it?”. I’ve even considered turning the website into a hard copy book on Pixxibook and IntoRealPages and shutting the proverbial shop.
Writing this post has been the first time in a long time where I’ve sat down and just written off the cuff and honestly, it’s been really enjoyable.
Arrival fallacy
I was watching a Jaackmate on Diary of a CEO a while back, where he spoke about arrival fallacy and losing motivation when you hit your goals. What he said resonated with me on many levels. “The journey is more exciting than the arrival”.
I started Never Settle after two of my articles were published in The Aberystwyth University newspaper, The Courier. I fell in love with writing lifestyle and opinion articles, but the real catalyst was when I wrote back in 2013 about the damaging effects of being on The Pill. I could have never imagined back then, whilst deeply depressed and unhappy, sitting writing the article in my front-facing room in 20 Thespian Street, Aberystwyth, that it would lead to writing an award-winning, top UK blog.
You’ve heard me talk about why I really developed the website (if you haven’t, head over to the About page), and it was when I was being breadcrumbed by this guy I was on/off seeing throughout third year of university.
What Never Settle meant to me
My first year of work in Soho, London, back in 2015, was a really strange time for me, but one I look back on with such fondness and nostalgia. I was living with friends in Homerton, my boyfriend and best friends were in a different country (well, Wales), I was navigating the new world of workplace politics and personalities, and going out far too often on weeknights drinking. I worked hard, I played hard – yada yada yada… I had all the time in the world and also felt pretty lonely at times. I came to rely on Never Settle – it gave me a real sense of purpose. It was hugely cathartic to write about what I was going through: panic attacks, long-distance relationships, dealing with a quarter-life-crisis, friends not knowing what to do with their lives, or dating disasters etc.
I felt like I was really helping people.
Even when friends and colleagues kind of took the piss out of it all, I genuinely didn’t care: they weren’t doing anything similar, so what did they know. I loved writing. I’d often write 3 or 4 articles a week (!!), which looking back is some serious dedication. I remember clear as day, one of my Relationship blogger friends at the time Paul Thomas Bell (who sadly no longer blogs), commented at the Dating Awards 2017 that I probably write too often. I think it also showed just how much I needed it, I almost wonder if my reliance on the blog was a desperate need to be heard – or to feel like I had a voice.
Fast forward to when I won the UK Blog Award in 2019 (which I can’t believe was 3 years ago!). It was a real high, it was the stuff of dreams – to be recognised in that way. At the same time, it signified a real turning point in my enthusiasm for writing. I’d reached the top, and there wasn’t really much room to go any further. The Dating Awards shut down after 2017, most blogging awards slowly stopped, in favour for social media influencer awards. Yet, my space on the internet was getting thousands of views a week, plenty of engagement and I was inundated with people writing to me.
I began training to become a relationship counsellor outside of work, going to college weekly, which I loved, and met quite a few fantastic likeminded people. Over 2 years I succeeded in completing the first 2 of 4 levels to become qualified. I started the Level 3 course, but it coincided with getting the new job at Disney, and I knew I couldn’t do both. It was the first time I’d ever actively made a decision to quit something and it felt very alien – like I was giving up.
Overall, it was definitely the right decision, and I can always pick it back up if I’d like. However, again it felt like my trajectory with Never Settle was changing.
So what happened?
Now, in 2022, I have done probably the most ironic thing for someone who created a website called Never Settle: I’ve settled. I feel more confident in who I am than I ever have, I’ve been through some difficult times behind the scenes, but I now feel safe and settled. Matt, my now Fiancé (was long-term boyfriend at the start of this post), is my best friend (get the sick bucket), and we have a house and are getting married. I have a steady career and work for Disney (I wish I could go back and tell this to my 15-year old home filmmaker self) and am super excited to start a family at some point soon.
Where does Never Settle fit into all of that?
Nothing good lasts forever, and I’m so proud of my corner of the internet. Something has obviously spurred me to get my fingers tapping on the keyboard to write – and maybe I’m not ready just quite yet to say goodbye.
I won’t make any promises this time, perhaps this will be my last post in a while, or maybe it’ll be the first of many new posts. Who knows!
Either way, as 2022 draws to a close, I wish you all lots of joy and cheer, as well as hope for the new year, that 2023 will be everything you could ask for.
Follow your gut, love freely, and, you guessed it, never settle for less than you deserve!
