The biggest learning curve from being in a long distance relationship, is that you shouldn’t have one just because you have the opportunity to do so. You both need to commit to it, fully and completely.
If you are a regular follower of Never Settle, then you will know from Is There Such a Thing As Bad Timing, I never originally intended on having a long distance relationship. In fact, from Self-Growth, Independence and a Break From Boys, you’d know I didn’t even intend on having a relationship altogether!
It just shows that these things genuinely do happen when you least expect it, and they evolve quite unlike you imagine them to. That’s at least what happened to me.
We kind of fell into a long distance relationship – it wasn’t particularly discussed, it just kind of… happened.
Now that June is creeping closer everyday, the reality struck me recently that soon we will no longer be in a long distance relationship. A year on: countless train and bus rides, hundreds of phone-calls, millions of snapchats later, we are on the home stretch.
I won’t believe it until it happens I think.
Upon reflecting on the past year, what have I learnt the most?
For starters, for an LDR to work, it’s imperative to focus on the positives – having your own social life and career, whilst building a relationship purely via technological communication.
Grumpy, jealous malarkey is a big no no. It’s natural to get a bit of FOMO when it comes to your other half having a life which (let’s face it) you aren’t in at all, but you’ve committed to this – so don’t complain!
One of the biggest fears is that one of you will cheat, or go elsewhere in the time you have apart. However you just have to remember: couples who live close together also worry about that.
Dr. Gregory Guldner of Purdue University carried out a study comparing 200 couples in LDRs with 200 who were ‘geographically close’. He found that LDRs had no greater risk of affairs than non-LDRs: it was factors such as the quality of the relationship and how people feel about infidelity (if they are more likely to take up opportunistic sex) that determine if someone strays.
Moreover, Guldner also found that LDRs have no more chance of breaking up than other relationships (this man is just great, isn’t he?!).
Back to the home stretch…
So finally, when it comes to the home-stretch of a LDR, it can genuinely feel like a real running race. Scratch that. A marathon.
You’ve come so far at a good, steady pace, now finally your body is compelled to sprint finish, in a last-bid attempt to get across that finish line faster.
And bloody hell the home-stretch is a pain. You can literally see the finish line: it’s there gloating at you in the distance. You are so close, but not quite there yet. You can’t quite believe it’s really there – at long last.
Fingers crossed the next two months will fly by before I know it.
But as I mention in The Long Distance Relationship, if you’re on the periphery of one, why not give it a go. If you care about the person, and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel then it’s totally worth it.