How To Handle Sexual Tension Between Friends

sexual tension between friends

Sexual tension: It’s blatant, it’s hard to avoid and it can be downright inconvenient.

You’ll feel it straight away, but feeling sexual tension between friends can really make it hard for two people to act like platonic pros.

It isn’t always simple, especially if you have sexual tension with someone you really shouldn’t be with. I could go on for days with reasons not to be with someone, even though you have chemistry. Maybe you’re too good of friends. Maybe you both are dating someone. Maybe it would just never work in the long run.

If you’ve made the choice that you would never get together with them, then there are reasons for it. So, how do you handle sexual tension between friends and remain platonic?


1. Keep your self control

If you decide you’re never going to do it, then stick with it. Don’t let yourself get out of control with all the sexual tension.

Make the decision to never get involved no matter what and then hold yourself responsible. When you make that solid decision, it’ll be much easier to remain platonic.

2. Reiterate, repeat, remind: It’s NOT a good idea

If you’re not going to sleep with them, then there’s a reason. It’s not worth it. Whenever you’re in a situation where you’re feeling like the sexual tension is strong, just remind yourself why it’s bad.

Repeat in your head every single reason you decided not to do it. Think about all the bad things that could happen if you ever became involved.

3. Don’t put yourself in risky situations

There are probably different situations that make the sexual tension almost unbearable. You’ve probably noticed a couple by now (probably when drinking). If you know you can’t be around them during certain times, then don’t be.

When you avoid certain situations that make it worse, it’s much easier to deal with. You won’t be in a place of weakness nearly as often.

4. Avoid spending time one-on-one

One on one time is seriously risky when there’s sexual tension between friends. Who’s there to stop you from making a mistake with that person? When you’re alone together, the tension gets much worse.

No matter what, don’t be alone in the same room together. You need a buffer. Have other people with you or just remove yourself from that situation if you want to keep the friendship intact.

5. Touching is a no-no

No subtle arm strokes, no ‘accidental’ bumping into one another, no ‘pity’ pats. This is a huge rule. I know when there’s sexual tension between friends, it’s hard to never touch. They’re your friend. They’re close to you often. It can be tempting to swat them for something funny they said or just hug them.

But you can’t. So for your own sake, stay away.

6. Be with, or date other people

Truthfully, if you can’t be with them, then you should be dating someone else anyway. When you have someone to remain loyal to, those feelings can even go away after a while.

Better yet, bring that person with when you hang out with your friend group. The tension will lessen dramatically.

7. Avoid flirting

This will be the most difficult part. When you have sexual tension with someone, you flirt without realising it. However, this makes things much harder for you.

When you have sexual tension between friends, it’s crucial that you ignore their flirtatious advances. You also have to watch out for your own flirting. Keep all of your flirty comments to yourself and you’ll be just fine.

8. Ignore it

This is actually all you can do. If you decided not to do anything with them in order to keep your friendship intact, then you just need to ignore it. Remember why your friendship is important and forget about the sexual tension.

It won’t be easy at first by any means, but you will be able to eventually. Whenever you feel like the tension is getting too much, just think about something else. Draw your attention away from it and you’ll be able to ignore it much easier.


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