Is The Only Way Is Essex Normalising Emotional Abuse And ‘Toxic Masculinity’?

Does The Only Way Is Essex normalise abusive behaviour? Where does entertainment cross the line into something much darker and more troubling?

The Only Way is Essex is one of my guilty pleasures, and I have been addicted since series one, with Amy Childs, Mark Wright and Sam Faiers. Over eight years, it has kept viewers hooked with its glossy brand of real-life drama.

There is the thin line between entertainment and sexism in TOWIE. There have always been archetypal manifestations of hyper masculinity and extreme ‘lad banter’ on the show, which provided a voyeuristic lens into the normalisation of everyday sexism. However the recent episodes have taken things to a new, uncomfortable level, depicting psychological emotional abuse on screen.

The show’s opening disclaimer declares that “the tans you see may be fake, but the people are all real”. However, the show’s so called reality has made uncomfortable viewing in the first two episodes of the new series.

The behaviour of James “Lockie” Lock and Myles Barnett, and how they speak to and treat their girlfriends, has come under fire.

“The first two episodes are demonstrations of really nasty, potentially abusive behaviour by some of the central characters towards their girlfriends,” domestic abuse charity Women’s Aid campaign manager Sian Hawkins told the BBC. “As part of a pattern of behaviour, it signals danger.”

Hawkins, suggests the show’s latest series normalises “toxic masculinity”.

[Read: 8 Flags of an Emotionally Controlling Partner]

In one scene from the 2nd episode, Myles is seen calling Courtney Green a “dirty little dog” and “dirty slag” after Jordan Wright admits flirting with her.

“It’s unacceptable that Myles thinks verbal abuse is justified just because Courtney talked to another man,” Hawkins says.

The argument between Myles and Courtney came a week after a row that saw cast member Chloe Lewis tell Lockie he had previously acted “aggressively” towards his girlfriend Yaz Oukhellou.

When Yaz began to cry, Lockie called her a “spoiled fucking brat” and accused her of “playing of victim”. “Lockie is isolating Yaz from her friends, blaming her for his anger and provoking her,” Hawkins says.

“Yaz told her mum he was ‘chipping away’ at her every time they have a row – it’s controlling behaviour. These patterns of toxic behaviour and toxic masculinity have a lot of negative connotations.”

“These are venomous outbursts from men outraged that their girlfriends aren’t doing what they’re told, demeaning and misogynistic language and attempts to control them,” she says.

“Do not start having opinions!” from Lockie just shows the outdated views on gender roles.

Regardless of if people agree, TOWIE is influencing viewers perception of what is acceptable behaviour. It’s a popular show which informs and influences young people not only in their looks, aesthetic and aspirations, but particularly behaviour. 

The emotional abuse isn’t acceptable and shouldn’t just be accepted as part of their ‘personalities’. The gender stereotypes depicted on the show need to be called out by producers, and needs to be balanced.

But at a time when we’re paying particular attention to the way women are being treated in our society, it’s certainly worrying that we’re classing this kind of chauvinistic, entitled male behaviour as entertainment.