It’s a question most easily answered by those happily content in their relationships, and one which causes great pain to those who have lost it.
Love is one of the most powerful forces, and it’s both amazing and terrifying because we cannot see it there.
Different love
There are all sorts of different loves, our first can’t-live-without, obsessive infatuation love, the relaxed, easy love, the painful unrequited love, the love you don’t want to let go of, even though you know you have to, the friendship love, the family love, the love for a child.
[Read: The Secret To A Happy Relationship]Loving even though it’s scary
Heartbreak is, of course, one of the main reasons we sometimes avoid falling in love. Why do we fall in love when it can be so painful to fall out of? But heartbreak, whether it’s the slow distancing and losing each other, or the sudden break from one party, only makes us stronger. Even if it takes a long time to get through it.
It makes us realise what we truly need and want in a relationship.
Heartbreak from real love can cause deep-rooted physical and emotional trauma. It’s responsible for some of the most moving music and film scenes in history – because those who know how heartbreak feels always relate. However, most people, despite having their heart broken, are hopeful for a new love in the future. Why?
Because love, when it’s there and reciprocated, is the single most incredible feeling, quite unlike anything else. Love at its best makes us feel safe and secure, it makes us feel connected and happy, like nothing can stop you because you’re with someone who is on your wave length, who knows you better than you know yourself. Someone who you can spend hours and hours with and not get bored, can talk to endlessly and don’t tire of each other. Someone you’re excited to see at the end of the day.
Why do you think dating apps are so prolific? Why we crave love? Why are there so many love songs? Why we live in fear of a happily never after? Simply, we all, at some point, long for a partner to see us through the hardest, happiest, most beautiful moments of our short lives on this planet.
Because happiness is only real when shared.
[Read: Are We All Scared Of A Happily Never After]Finding someone who knows you, treats you well, show you they care, knows you inside and out – and who you get along with – is hard. So when you find a love which you’ve worked for, someone you love more than anything else, someone who you’d do anything for.
Hold on to them.
Relationships aren’t a walk in the park, they’re hard work. The hardest part of a relationship isn’t getting into the relationship, it’s not the pre-amble to the happily ever after and running off into the distance. The hard part comes after… It’s retaining the “ever after”.
Even if times are tough, even if you think the grass is greener, even when temporary temptation lures you in. Know that it’s worth it and work through it together.
Together you are stronger.
[Read: How ‘Seven Year Switch’ Highlights Our Modern Day ‘Grass Is Always Greener’ Attitude]Love is a two way street and at a time where people play games, communicate poorly, are tempted by the “new” and crave the honeymoon period again, it’s never been harder to have a long term relationship. But I remain optimistic. I think there are many people for each person, and if you genuinely love, and work at it, it’ll last.
So good luck, whether you’ve found your lobster, or still looking, or just happy being on your own for now. Take care of your relationships, and know that love can be amazing.
