I really can’t believe it. My little ole blog is a whole six years old!
I thought I’d write a bit about my blogging journey, and include some things which maybe people don’t really know about me, the progress of Never Settle and my reasons behind why I started it. I think it’s quite interesting looking back and seeing how far Never Settle has come in 6 years, and I’ve tried hard to include some delicious new information about me and the blog, so happy reading and happy 6 years!
Back to the beginning…
What a six years it’s been. From tentatively joining the blogging community, to gaining more traction, and then being nominated for awards – and then winning them. If I’m honest, I never intended Never Settle to get so big. I never thought it would have the reach it does, and help the amount of people it has. It’s genuinely phenomenal when I think about it.
It’s been an absolute rollercoaster really, I’ve had more collaborators and guest writers than ever, giving people a voice and a platform to tell their story. I’ve had negative criticism from some of the people closest to me. I’ve found my single dating life was hindered by having the blog. I’ve gained some really true and genuine friend bloggers, and am part of an exclusive “club” of blog award winners.
I’ve also grown so much as a person, a writer and as someone who genuinely wants to help people with their self-love, dating and relationships decisions – not through explicit advice, but reminding people to follow their gut and do what’s best for them.
Rewind to 2014, Never Settle wasn’t branded as such, but rather Eve’s Blog (revolutionary name, right?) and I was just writing about whatever I felt like. I was a regular lifestyle and opinion columnist for Aberystwyth University’s Newspaper “The Courier”, and that spurred me on to write more. I was fresh out of a 4 year relationship, and frankly not very prepared for the dating world. I had to learn from scratch all the things which I’ve now written so much about: ghosting, commitment-phobes, chasing someone who doesn’t really care about you, one-night stands and new dating apps.
I was in a bit of a messy head-space. I was seeing a guy who I adored, but who drip fed me attention and disappeared for weeks on end (it turns out he was seeing other girls!) and writing was becoming really helpful for me. To be honest, I just really wanted to help others not make the same mistakes as me and avoid the embarrassment and heartache!
I also wanted to start writing about exiting long term relationships, and how hard it actually can be. 6 months before the blog started, I was umming and ahhhing about being with my high-school boyfriend, who I’d gone to university with. After a summer full of interning in London and a “new” future opening up, I started to question if the relationship was what I wanted. It was very much a “young” relationship, with so many tropes I now associate with “teenage” relationships: wanting to message all the time, being on top of each other and not really allowing any space, and cutting off friends. For the year prior whilst in the relationship, I was really unhappy and depressed, and having gained weight I felt like I lost myself. The relationship itself was really great learning curve. I think friends saw us as a really strong couple but behind the scenes it was pretty toxic. It wasn’t a healthy relationship by any means, and we both had our flaws. I realised that we’d outgrown each other and we both needed to feel happy again.
But I was so indecisive – it still took me six months to pluck up the courage to end things. In hindsight this was cruel and selfish, and although perhaps I’d have handled things differently, sometimes I think we have to be selfish. I also think having new strong minded friends and fancying new men around me really helped me make the decision. It’s really not easy though (especially as I lived in the same house as him!). For ages I constantly questioned if I was making the right choice: no one would love me again, what if I never found anyone?? All my insecurities would have to be addressed in a new relationship – can I start from scratch?
I’d sit in bed and Google, “what to do if you’re not sure you love your partner, but don’t want to be alone”, and honestly, nothing really that helpful would come up. But I did know my gut feeling was screaming for escape. Once I was single, and finding the new Dating Game really hard, I’d return to my Googley friend and search: “why doesn’t the guy I fancy like me back?”, and again, surprise surprise, it wasn’t much help. I needed something that wasn’t there.
SO that’s when I decided to create it. My blog morphed into a honest, confidence-building go-to of what to do when dating, in a relationship, breaking up, having sex, have mental health issues… you name it, I wanted to properly help people with it.
Entering the dating game, I learnt a lot. From commitment-phobes, new dating apps, one-night stands, ‘labels’, fuckboys, to my then long-distance relationship, I have developed a love of relationship and dating psychology, how men and women work – and how to genuinely get what you want whilst dating, by accepting and loving yourself.
I feel like I’ve grown so much, and even feel so differently from back when I wrote about leaving my long-term relationship and having to face my insecurities. I was like a nervously naive baby to the dating world. Nowadays, I feel stronger in myself, and know now that if someone doesn’t love me for me, or messes me about, well, I certainly won’t tolerate it and that’s their loss!
Awards
I’ll try not to witter on too long about Never Settle’s awards, but I do think it’s an integral part of the building of the blog. The awards were always, to me, like little milestones of achievement, keeping me motivated to keep going, and ultimately meaning the blog would get more readers – and hopefully help more people in the long run!
Often my motivation and love for the blog was dampened when people around me weren’t the most supportive. I’ve briefly mentioned this topic on occasion when I’ve won awards, not in a “I told you so” way, but because I’ve felt keen to let people know that I am aware of the things which are said behind my back.
I started to become very conscious when I posted the more “controversial” posts – would I still be liked as a person afterwards? I think my need to feel liked started to conflict with my ambitions for the blog. Smashing taboos is so much harder when you’re worried what people are going to think of you for it. That side of things has been a long journey, but ultimately nowadays I feel I need to own my opinions: if this is a taboo topic I believe in addressing, then that’s just as much a part of me as the easy-to-write posts. I can’t change other people’s perceptions, so if someone can’t accept me regardless of my opinions, why dampen my opinions to appease a few? Being scared or embarrassed to post content would only hinder the progress of Never Settle and creating a more accepting place for everyone. That’s how taboos stay taboos after all, right?
The most surprising thing for me is how two-faced people can be. Over the years, people who were supposed to be friends, and who’d say nice things to my face, would use my blog as ammunition to try and wreck my relationship behind my back, planting seeds of doubt on my boyfriend and make me out to be someone I’m not. That, or they’d just not actually read my content and assume it’s just a tell-all bitching account of my life (it’s not). Most of my content is NOT actually about me, and there is actually very little about my actual relationships on Never Settle. This is purposeful. As I’ve said before in Does Being A Dating Blogger Make You… Undateable?, unless your an anonymous blogger, it’s not fair to reveal the ins and outs of other people’s private lives, and naming and shaming is a huge no no.
It has been pretty hurtful to receive back-handed compliments, “I used to think your blog wasn’t great, but it’s been okay this year” (thanks…), or “don’t you just write about your problems – why does your boyfriend even stay with you” (no, definitely not, and cause he knows it’s not about him), or “aren’t you embarrassed by it” (nope, and why should I be?).
The amount of research, time and effort which goes into creating a website, images, writing, editing, posting, keywords, SEO, marketing – people often have no clue. It’s easier to comment, judge and say something nasty than just leave people be to what they’re happy doing.
But actually having enough of my readers to nominate me, support me and actually have some recognition basically proves to me that I’m not a total embarrassment. I AM helping people, and Never Settle is a source of comfort to those going through problems and need to relate. The awards and top ten lists have given me the push to continue, when so many times I’ve felt like I should just abandon the website.
Cosmo
Back in October 2016 , and a mere 2 years into my blogging journey was my first nomination for an award. I genuinely couldn’t believe it as I was sat on the overground train, trundling along the way to Homerton. I was shortlisted for the Cosmopolitan Influencer Awards, as Best Sex & Relationship Influencer. At this point I was in a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend, working in London and writing really regularly, twice a week and found comfort in my little space on the internet. I felt like I could write what I was feeling and it would give me an escape from the stresses of work.
Not long after I received the nomination, on Thursday 3rd November it was the day of the Cosmopolitan Influencer Awards 2016 (feels like yonks ago!) Held at The Orangery in Kensington Palace, the room was lined with flowers and Blossom Hill wine, with pink lights aptly filling the walls… amazing would be an understatement!
My sister and I attended, and honestly I felt a little bit out of place – there were so many famous vloggers and bloggers – Megan Ellaby, Fleur De Force, Zoe London, Hello October. And there I was, genuinely little ole me and Jaye. We had an absolutely beaut evening at the awards, and it was fab to meet and be surrounded by such incredibly inspiring and talented people. We got our nails done and Jaye had her hair done by some of the stalls there. I didn’t win (but it wasn’t expected!) but had the best time and was so happy just to be there.
Then the next year brought The UK Dating Awards 2017. I went on my own to this one, as from what I can remember, we weren’t given a plus one. It was really nice to meet fellow bloggers Alice Riley, Paul Thomas Bell and Zainab Mohiuddin from Tinderella Worldwide. People kept on coming up to me and confusing me with the gorgeous Naomi Narrative (a huge compliment) which made me laugh.
It was actually a really difficult day as my boyfriend and I were going through a really rough patch and I was feeling pretty crap – not that you’d know it from the photos! But it was a really nice evening, and again, I didn’t win (Paul did), but networking with people who loved the same things as me was really fantastic. It’s so nice getting to know people who can appreciate the work you do, and have similar interests!
2017 saw the year ending in heartbreak, and 2018 brought reconciliation with my boyfriend. Some didn’t understand it, I didn’t understand it at first, but in a really strange way I’m glad it happened. One of my friends says “it’s the bad times which bind you”, and honestly it took losing each other to realise what we had and how things needed to change. Mistakes were made, tears were cried, but lessons were also learnt and it’s a decision I really do not regret. My life feels like it’s on the right course, and my boyfriend and I are closer and happier than ever.
Another year on, brought the UK Blog Awards 2018. I’d been nominated for the UK Blog Award 2017 but didn’t go as was long-listed. But in 2018, I was shortlisted and very very excited to attend and see all my blogging friends like Natasha Atlas, Lucy goes Dating, Alice and Paul again. I wore a lovely frock, and it was a superb night – Never Settle came High Commended! The lovely Alice won (as pictured below) and had a really good laugh.
I really loved all the awards events, I found myself in my element and had so much fun. I really look back on them with so much fondness and nostalgia. I wish we could go back to that time!
Fast forward another year – and another year of posting regularly and keeping Never Settle on track – starting a podcast and Ask Eve section. On Friday 12th April 2019 I won the UK Blog Awards Best Dating Blogger 2019, and honestly I couldn’t quite believe it.
There was only the online ceremony due to lack of funds for the event, but the dating category all met up – Dating Dad, Bumbling Dad, Lucy Goes Dating, myself and Alice. We went to Percy & Founders in London and all sat around and watched the live YouTube stream (from 8:40 minutes in) where we were judged by the Founder of VIDA Dating where they announced me as the winner! It was such a lovely meal and evening and so nice to see everyone. I remember not being able to believe that I’d won!
It’s actually really sad cause that was the last year the UK Blog Awards went ahead, which means although I will remain the last winner of the award (pretty cool, no?) it also means though that there’s no awards for Dating or Relationship blogs anymore. With the pandemic it’s harder to meet up, but I do wish we could all meet up again – or bring it back to “the good old days” of dating blogging. Many of us original bunch have hung up our hats in favour for life moving on – Paul, Zainab, even Naomi in a way (who’s just had the most darling little baby)!
But winning the UK Blog Award, for me, wasn’t just a happy bi-product of writing my blog, and it was so much more than just an award. It was genuine hope and motivation that all your hard work isn’t for nothing. It was recognition when you’ve lost sight of what you’re doing in life. Winning this award meant so much more than people will know or care- for me, it was a sign that I’ve done something good and have genuinely helped people.
Crazy to think of all the lists I fall under or awards I’ve been nominated for – when written down it does look a bit mad!! But honestly I’m so bladdy proud of myself, not many can say they’ve achieved them – and to think! It’s all because I wanted to people not to make the same mistakes as me… who’d have thunk it!
UK Blog Awards 2019 – Winner, Dating Blogger of the Year
UK Blog Awards 2018 – Winner, Highly Commended Dating Blogger
Vuelio – Winner 2020 – #4 – Top 10 UK Dating Blog Rankings
Vuelio – Winner 2019 – #5 – Top 10 UK Dating Blog Rankings
Feedspot – Winner #7 – Top 10 UK Dating Blog Rankings
UK Dating Awards 2017 – Dating Blogger of the Year – Finalist
UK Blog Awards 2017 – Dating Blogger of the Year – Finalist
Cosmopolitan Influencer Awards 2016 – Best Sex & Relationships Influencer – Finalist
Where Never Settle is in 2020
With the pandemic and work ramping up, I’ve not been as on it with Never Settle in 2020 as I have been previous years. I also think I’m in a much happier place in my life now, where I’m less reliant on Never Settle to be my safe haven.
Never Settle is now at a point where, with a focus on millennial women, the blog focuses on specific content to promote women’s health, dating and love life, as well as offering support in all areas of relationships for both men and women.
I have a huge number of readers still, and I find it really interesting to see which posts are the most popular. Nowadays we have The Nice Guy Writes, and my own ASK EVE section where I accept all your anonymous questions: it’s grown massively.
Im proud to say that Never Settle is a website which pushes the latest important trends to the forefront of discussion, tackling controversial and taboo subjects head on, empowering women and men alike, and to provide a range of solutions to common problems and a tangible way of achieving them, based on a mixture of personal experience and extensive psychological and sociological research.
I’ve reiterated this time and time again, and I really do believe, my blog wasn’t created to complain, gloat or judge anyone, it’s there as a tool for anyone who wants to make themselves happier, better informed and ultimately more confident in their love lives.
It is based on the belief that we only get one life, and you owe it to yourself to be happy. Never settle just because it feels comfortable or safe or that you’ll never find anyone else. Take risks, take chances, be brave because you DESERVE to feel unconditionally loved.
Some of my favourite posts
I’ve been so lucky to work with some amazing brands on some really hard-hitting, or just plain fun campaigns. These include those for Lloyds Pharmacy, LELO, Ann Summers (some of my favourite sex toys), EllaOne, and Bijoux Indiscrets.
Personally, I really enjoy writing direct relationship and dating advice, out of the 250+ posts I’ve written (!!) it was hard to whittle down to just a few, but some of my particular favourite posts I’ve written are:
- Before You Cheat On Your Partner, Read This…
- Are We All Scared Of A Happily Never After?
- Mr Perfect Doesn’t Exist, So Stop Looking For Him
- 5 Signs He Doesn’t Want a Relationship
- What To Do Immediately After A Breakup
- The Difference Between Love and Obsession
Thank you
As always, I genuinely couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to run Never Settle without the support of the blogging community, friends and my readers! I’ve been given so many opportunities over the years to work with amazing brands, companies, TV and Radio stations and people over the years, some of whom aren’t with us anymore, but none of it would have happened if I didn’t have my loyal follower base. So thank you for every post you’ve read, recommended or engaged with, it really means more than people will ever know.
